I wrote “Known But Never Seen (A Love Story) https://billieazahir.wordpress.com/2013/05/14/known-but-never-seen-a-love-story/in response to photos like the ones included here been seen by me. I wanted to try to offer something to all the woman in the world who already feel like they are not good enough to deserve the best in life. I needed to do something to use my voice on this issue. As a woman who is trying to love who I am….the actual reality…and not what I wish I was, I can say the hardest part to love is my body. My greatest fear is after putting in all this work to be happy being perfectly imperfect, my hate of body will undo all that I have done. I believe if I feel this way there must be others who feel likewise. I urge you, to work on loving your body now…don’t wait to the end. We are woman, we are better than this.
I fell in love today with someone I have always known.
She was brushing her hair, and I was brushing mine.
when I caught her eye, no lie, for the very first time.
Her face had no make-up.
This gave me a chance to absorb her natural, even if it was raw, realness.
It was beauty beyond what can be found in magazines.
Her allure was in her imperfections
and not some manufactured rendition of beauty.
Seeing my new found love this way,
I took a moment to appreciate visual evidence of every
laugh she unleashed, frown she felt, scowl she showed,
and every moment she felt nothing
because those where the things which carved the face I adore,
and serves as her witness to the life she had endured.
In our many encounters, we had showered together before.
This time, however, we knew the experience would be different
I was going to take this time to know every inch of her.
She was scared, doubting us indulging in this delight was right.
Knowing this, I did not rush her.
I knew she would open up in time.
I let her go through her shower routine.
I allowed her the initial downpour from the shower.
I knew, those first moments was when
she soaked in the sensation of being blessed with being clean.
I appreciated the way that she tilted her head up to the heavens
and slowly rotated;
making sure every part of her was sanctified by wetness.
When this holy moment passed,
we had fun singing off tune
any bits and pieces of tunes that caught our fancy.
As we enjoyed this freeness,
I was struck how she just gave me
one of the rarest gifts…nobody before me…saw
her like this.
When she started the process of washing her hair
was when I knew it was my time…
to make my move and let her know
the celestial being she was
by allowing her to view her radiant light through my eyes.
As I lathered her hair, I told her to relax and enjoy.
My fingers messaging her head with just the right pressure.
Slowly, I could feel and see her muscles trust by surrendering
to my tender touch.
After she was shampooed and conditioned…and I wiped her eyes,
I could see all doubt about our taboo time together
in the shower erased.
Her eyes were hooded.
Each touch I slowly reverently administered she allowed
to shine the light of her essence.
Her legs, which she thought stumpy and shapeless, she now saw as strong.
Her arms, she hated showing,
she became aware of the elegance
as they stretched up and her fingers dripped fragrant floral suds.
Her breasts, she saw only value being as sexual lures,
she no saw how the magic of their adaptions
throughout every one of her major life changes.
Together we mourned for the pain wearing
confining contraption brought to the tissue
that loyally stood guard over her heart.
I made sure she was aware
any part of her that endured so much as they had
and bore the forever scars and temporary marks
never deserved to be considered less that exquisite.
When our showered ended…
I did the exalting of parts once more as I dried her off.
He once, pale skin was a rosy red with all the attention I gave it.
Before I wrapped her beauty up in a towel,
I stood her in front of the mirror and said,
“This is me, looking at me, and today I fell in love with the person I’ve always known but never took the time to see and appreciate before.”