I Am Fire

I am fire
He draws near
Puts out his hands
Keeping his heart away
Doing what I must
Feeling it’s my purpose

I skillfully tickle his cold hands
Taking care to playfully dance away
Right at the precise moment
Knowing my reason for existing
Will tragically end if I burn him

Pain causes fear in mortal men
History has proven
I could beautifully sway
Left and right
Up and down
Begging
Over and over
The best a fire can
Promising my warm embrace
The man would still stay away
So I keep my distance
Assuring my reason for existence

The man takes comfort in my glow
As darkness shows itself the villian
Denying the lights in heaven glory
Yet me, the fire, still has power
So the man draws even closer
When a chill takes hold of the night

The man feeds my flames
Right before he drifts off to sleep
He has got me roaring hot
My flames are so high
Evil Darkness sees me as it’s equal
The man is asleep
Slumber keeping him unaware
Of my beauty as I burn crimson hot

Sparks shoot out
Slowly go out before touching down
Every so often
My fuel once a might tree
Hisses and pops
As it breaks apart

Causes beasts slowly circling
Around my protective glow
To retreat further with fear
The man rests unaware
I have saved him from danger
With pride I burn even brighter
More pops and hisses are heard

What a pity indeed
I always destroy the wood
That came from a giant tree
Whose roots grew deep
So it could grow to grand heights
With dreams of touching the sky

As night progresses
My power lessens
I feel myself grow weaker
The man, my reason, draws closer
Wants to benefit as much as he can

He awakens to a bright new day
He holds his hands out again
Even if the man offered his heart
I am too weak to accept
There is no dance of flames
Heat comes from embers
Which are the only remains
From timber which was my victim

As the man collected the water
To assure power I have can’t grow
My short life’s events
I finally saw as significant
And realized
My purpose in life was not him
I had more power than this mortal

He was not my reason for being
He I could have destroyed
Too bad
Too late
This time

My smoke fills the sky
Making a promise
Seen far and wide
I am Fire
I will burn bright again
Beware!

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My HipHop/Rap Alter Ego Is White Venom

Recently, I have developed a new obsession. My obsession is HipHop/Rap. I spend hours on YouTube listening to whatever I come across or is suggested. I eat it all up. Including the comments section reading how others respond and how they act. I have come to learn so much! I impress myself by using the lingo unique to this genre and subculture at times.

It is an odd obsession to develop considering I’m almost 40, a woman, raised in a small town, and never cared for it much growing up. My obsession originally started because I made a few new friends who were HipHop/Rap enthusiasts. They appreciated my opinions on lyrics presented. I feel cooler now than I felt my entire life.

Not to brag, but a little verse I wrote and performed is going to be used as a drop on a friend’s soon to be released mixtape. I am sorry, I pride myself on being real so have to admit telling you the above was all brag. I am very proud of that accomplishment. Another great pride of mine, after using Google, is being told I’m trill.

Please don’t think my recent obsession has created any radical changes in me. People on YouTube, who don’t know me, make fun of my long detailed critiques I comment. I still dress age appropriate and have no desire to emerge my whole identity into the subculture. However, I can’t deny allure of it all.

I want to write more about my recent obsession in the future. I hope my posts are well received by all, regardless of their background. I believe some of my observations of the subculture’s underground and mainstream will be found more interesting than you expect.

In conclusion, going to include my own attempts at writing verse. Not the best, I am well aware. Perfection was not my goal when writing. Rather, my goal was to never say I did not give it a shot….probably why I’m trill when so many others are not.

“Mama’s Math”

All men rate me a perfect ten
Shit! What a pain this has been
Had to do some Facebook weeding
Nixing 5 what I was needing
I try to be a classy woman
But never forget I got venom
I’ll do what I gotta to thrive
Seconds given to mourn was 5
I never fear having nothing left
Forcing me to commit a theft
My hair is as dark as a raven
My darkness assures breaking even
You asking how I dare
I’ll indulge you and share
Let mama give you a lesson bath
Using the soap called math
5 plus 5 is always me
Not gonna settle for a common he
So don’t try knocking on my door
Thinking I’ll greet ya like a whore
Bitch who you think you be?
You will never be worthy of me
I’ll only be wifed by a real man
Try to be one if you can
I gleefully await that day
Till then fucking go away
Cause I don’t need a hero
Damn! 5 minus 5 is you a zero

“Zombie Apocalypse”

Too many voices saying nothing worth hearing/my ears are bleeding/I need to hear something smart/something from a heart/don’t know why y’all worried about a zombie apocalypse/zombies are fucking everywhere/I’m not afraid to admit I’m scared as hell/somebody please ring the bell/we gotta take action/put are forces in motion/raise your voices to work/this is not the time to lurk/come out of hiding/use your pens for fighting/zombies are afraid of light/shine your brilliance with all your might/let’s back them into the corners of society/it’s time for the mentally strong to quit speaking politely/let’s unleash an atomic shout/so brainless zombies get the fuck out

The End For Now….White Venom Is Out

The Return of the Eye

Not going to post too much at this point. Just wanted to let any of you who still remember me know I’m going to be back writing soon. By soon, I mean tomorrow morning. I enjoyed my Blog but had to take a little break to take in the world around me to write again. My brief time away has changed my writing a little. If that change is for good or bad….is up to you. I write for me while hoping my need of expressing myself will somehow connect with others.

Till tomorrow morning , or earlier, my fellow earthly beams of glory!

Since, I feel more whole since taking my hiatus it’s fitting to come back and show you more of who I am on the outside as I plan on showing you more of who I am on the inside with my writing later.

more–>

Image

Reality

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

Boys girls playing in the park

Fun had for no cost

Going home before gets dark

Soon off to bed flossed

 

Boys girls told it’s time debark

Into the world tossed

Soon know park was a hallmark

Feel sad childhood lost

 

_________________________________________________________

Want to share another 7/5 Trochee Poem from a fellow very talented blogger.

Billie ♥

http://wrestling-life.com/2013/05/09/75-trochee-loves-hues/

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Right To Write

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

Won gunfight…My life I indite
Pissed poisoned pen poised for payback
Heroes and Villains I’ll incite
Won gunfight…My life I indite
With delight good/bad I handwrite
When on bookrack I will kickback
Won gunfight…My life I indite
Pissed poisoned pen poised for payback

 

 

 

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Emotion’s Roost (Line Messaging)

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

A life is judged by a person’s actions

and guided by notions.

However, don’t forget, ugly emotions.

No matter how good the intentions, emotions efface.

Causing a  possible fall from grace.

The mission of a person is to find a special place.

A place emotions can feel at ease roosting

where their existence does not have to be proven with shouting

This place, where they can glimmer, can be found only  in writing.

 

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Red

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

“Be back in just a minute” is what he said.

These words bounce all over in my head.

The bitch clock taunts, “Tic toc, tic toc.”

I stay strong; tears unshed.

Rage festers instead.

Tic toc, tic toc.

In the past,

bled; now

RED

 

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My Soul

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

Sly Satan summoned the serpent Sorrow

seeking to slither and scourge my simple soul

I became a solo shallow shadow

Sly Satan summoned the serpent Sorrow

sought salvation from wings of a sparrow

lifting me in secret from Shoal’s slimy sinkhole

Sly Satan summoned the serpent Sorrow

seeking to slither and scourge my simple soul

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Buttons and Bows (Diamante)

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

Bows

Pretty, Plenty

Primping, Swaying, Matching

Colorful, Girly, Useful, Concealing

Fastening, Frustrating, Popping

Needed, Replaced

Buttons

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You Are Missed (Monody)

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

He was the toughest SOB that I ever knew.

Every time, before, death knocked on his door,

he knocked the Grim Reaper on the floor.

Sadly, this time, the hooded one was the victor.

This was the man who lived through a blazing inferno,

being in the line of fire during the Korean War,

and fell from an iron tower.

Yet, as tough as he was, with me he was always tender.

I never, called him Dad…yet he was the best Dad I ever had.

When the time came for him to go cause the pain was too much I cried.

But, just like he did, I did what I had to and told them to turn off the machines.

I feel no guilt for being the one gifted with the right to end his pain.

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Mr. Diamond (Clerihew)

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

Neil Diamond, singer and writer of songs.

Woman come to see him in large throngs

He often wonders at what age

woman will stop throwing panties on stage.

(Ok, this was written for making me giggle.)

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Anger With Red Hair (Nonet)

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

Gave my anger a chid’s persona

Red curly hair uncombed untamed

His clothes worn out with rough play

Scabs on elbows and knees

Has no time to heal

Seems nobody cares

enough to

give a

hug.

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Lost Mind (Triolet)

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

My wonderful mind always roaming forever lost

Search parties stay at home…don’t wanna be found

My mind will avoid being caged at any cost

My wonderful mind always roaming forever lost

More than anything my mind hates being bossed

Proud of my mind’s refusal to be bound

My wonderful mind always roaming forever lost

Search parties stay at home…don’t wanna be found

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Forever A Clown

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

I was a joke, when I was young.

Laughter, so loud, at my expense stung.

The sound bending me over in agony.

Hunkered down, took a journey.

Mind went afar hoping laughter done when awoke.

Older now, sadly naught changed since I was a joke.

Think I would learn, to deal with pain.

Joy, with role as clown, I could feign.

This one ability, could save me my face.

Instead, tears engage in a race.

No matter what I do, I follow the same pattern.

I am a clown to all around…think I would learn.

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My Muse: An Introduction

Since I have made reference to the presence of my assigned Muse a time or two, it is only right I provide you all with a formal written introduction. I believe it is important for those who take the time to read the words I have crafted, and profess sometimes to be impressed, to know me, the architect and builder. The introduction to me can be found in the words that I write; along with a formal profile on this site

While it is my unique intellectual and emotional perceptions of the incidents that have taken place during my personal life journey which provide the building materials to construct each of the offerings provided here, it is my Muse, who picks and chooses from the many options of my mind, who decides at what time each one should be constructed and the proper form it should take for it to have the desired impact on those who make the decision the end results of our efforts are pleasing therefore worthy of reading.

Together, my Muse and I, attempt to create a formation of words that emotionally resonate with readers. We desire people to conclude if they can still find me, despite being aware of the shameful flaws I have, worthy they should also feel worthy themselves. One of my most treasured things my Muse has ever reached into my mind and forced me to write is the bold statement “I am imperfectly perfect and that is perfectly fine” These words were always there… waiting for her to force me to reveal them. However, the Muse, who I sometimes really despise, showed her wisdom by waiting for when I decided to make an effort to write and allow others to read what I have written before she inspired me to pen them. I hate to admit it, but these moments of brilliance from her do happen from time to time.

Since I have given a functional introduction to my Muse by telling you how she and I operate in my artistic expression of writing, I now want to provide an introduction to her as an immortal being. I want to be straight from the start…my immortal Muse is not divine by any stretch of the imagination. A fact, made very clear, on the day we first began our relationship face to face when she refused to adhere to the common Muse position of the sideline of its artists charge’s mind. Apparently, my Muse was never informed of this.

Let me start my revelation of my Muse’s immortal personality by telling you how it transpired that we met face to face. Most of my life was spent blissfully thinking, like so many others, a Muse was nothing but a myth and my mind and skill alone should be accredited with the praise for my writing abilities sometimes garnered from others.

When I was in college and developed the passion for politics. Using my the core values and priorities I developed over the years with a formal education in politics I formed my own political views I went online and preached them on political forums and social networks along with others of the same inclination. Doing this, my words were seen by a person who desired to write a book of compiled essays who subscribed to the notion a particular person was the right man to become President of the United States. He was impressed with my writing when I expressed my thoughts so he sent me an email asking me to submit an essay so he could determine if it would be worthy adding to his book.

When I was just about to delete the email that he sent my Muse stormed into my house, without even knocking, and started shaking me while she screamed, “When are you fucking going to stop tuning me out you idiot!”  I was not only scared I was also in shock and pissed! I did not know what to do or what to say because this powerful cocktail of emotions her grandiose entrance served me without warning was paralyzing. In my state, she had time to tell me who she was and that she wanted me to write what I felt in an essay and send it to that man right at that moment. Scared and wanting this crazy lady who invaded my house to leave, I did as instructed. The essay was short and the words came from my heart. I did not care if I used words that made me sound educated and I made myself look even more like an idiot when I titled it “A Nobody’s Opinion.”  From start to end my task, that she bullied me into completing took me less than 15 minutes. When done she warned she would leave for now but promised, though it felt like a threat, to be back when I would finally be able to believe she was who she said.

While the moment of our meeting was shocking by itself…it was shocking even more when I was informed the essay I sent, under duress, had enough value to be added. I started to think…perhaps what I write does have some value if others, besides me, think it does.

I said out loud to nobody in the room, “How in the fuck could this be?”

There was a knock at the door. When I answered, it was that crazy lady who claimed she was my Muse…she stood there with a smirk. She knew… I was now a believer. Even though I hated doing it, I had to let her in the door and into my life.

From that day the Muse was part of my life. I have many stories to tell about our relationship. Each one will help you know more about her immortal personality. I will share them when she lets me.

By the way….her name is Deloris.

Billie Ann Zahir aka The Eye

My Muse is Depressed; In Need for Uplifting Inspiration

After reviewing my writing, I discovered I am often very depressing. My latest poems were written with me wanting to write somethings that were lighter. I believe I failed. While I was writing, I got so frustrated at my inability to write something joyful and light lacking any thought that was depressing. The closest thing I came to success with was my musings about mushroom hunting. I have to come clean…I hated that post. Only reason I sent it…was because it was the lightest thing I wrote.

It is clear. My Muse, despite her recent day off, is close to a break-down. I need to make sure she gets some help. I promise I will do that.

However, while she is under medical care I need your help in inspiring me. Give me a writing prompt that will inspire me to write with light…instead of dark. It can be anything that you believe is something that needs to put in poetry form because of the goodness that it has.

You are under no obligation to help me with this…but I figured I would ask because my Muse and I have not had the best luck accomplishing this task of yet.

I thank you in advance for your consideration,

Best Wishes!

Billie ♥

Defection to Happy (Sestina)

I am visiting this new land called Happy
I don’t know how to act.
All my life I have lived in Despair.
I never liked living there, because it is very glum.
However, my feeling of this new land of Happy is fright.
But, I will travel on despite.

I never felt the joy that forms a smile I attempt one despite.
What makes all the people feel cheery in Happy?
Do they know what it feels like to feel fright?
Could all this bliss be an act?
Does the monotony of content make the natives glum?
I can’t help it I feel home sick for Despair.

Is it my emotional predisposition for misery, which destined me for Despair?
Could I learn to be a Happizite despite
my life long teachings of how to be glum?
I admit I have a fascination with this land of Happy.
Perhaps things would be alright if pleased I could act
and keep hidden, from those all around, my fright.

How does a person mask fright?
When they lived their whole life in Despair?
Is delighted still a wonderful feeling if it is an act?
Can the act ever become fact despite
being a foreigner to Happy?
Or am I forever doomed, no matter the effort, to be glum?

I don’t want to be glum.
I don’t want to feel fright.
I want to live forever in Happy.
I want to defect from Despair.
No matter I was born a Despairian, I want to be a Happizite despite.
I want to feel glee for real and not have it be only an act.

I have decided, I will drop my act and no longer feel glum.
I will do this despite my feelings of horrible fright.
I herby revoke my citizenship to Despair, and pledge my allegiance to Happy!

The Liebster Award

I have never made it a secret that I am totally new at the business of having a blog. When I started, my only wish was putting my efforts of writing in an arena which they had a chance to be seen. It has been a little bit over a month since I started and, even though my stats are not as impressive as some of those I have seen, I am pleased with the steady growth I have achieved. Even more than the steady growth, I am so pleased with the quality of people I have come across that have offered encouragement in my writing efforts and stir my soul from the blogs they themselves have established. I regret not starting my blogging earlier for these reasons.

One of the things that I have been confused about during this time is this whole award business. From what I can tell the process is just a way of promoting blogs including your own. After a few nominations and a lot of thought, I have decided to give the process a shot. Why not? All it will do is cost me some time. However, that time is well spent if I can recognize a few blogs that I have come to enjoy in hopes others in this chain discover them and think see there worth like I do.

Here I go….

I was nominated for the Liebster Award by a fellow blogger named Steve the blog he calls home is http://imagineerebooks.wordpress.com I do not lie when I say the nomination is an honor. Like all every other person in the world, it touches my heart to be thought of as a person deserving of an award of any kind.

Here are the rules that were given to me to follow and those that I bestow the honor to will have to follow these rules as well.

1. Answer the 10 random questions or those of your own choosing.
2. Nominate 10 other bloggers for the Award and link their blog sites.
3. Notify the bloggers of their award.
4. Ask the award winners to answer the 10 questions when they accept their Award.

First, I will answer the questions provided…..

1. Do you have a goal in life?  I will live long enough to be a grumpy old woman who speaks her mind. People will get offended. People will hate what I have to say. However, most of them will love me despite my lack of social filter. (I’m almost there by the way…so watch out)

2. City or countryside? Depends on my mood…but I know from experience that it does not matter either one can be a lonely place if your are lonely in your heart.

3. What was the last word you looked up in the dictionary?  Bilharzial…it was a silly thing I do from time to time looking for writing prompts. I put a word or words in a Scrabble Assist app and see what words come out…in this case it was my full name and the result was this disgusting “Snail Fever” a parasitic disease. Needless to say…I did not use the prompt and would rather put the whole experience behind me. :/

4. If you had a time machine where would you go?  January 15, 1993…the reason I will keep close to my heart.

5. Pirate or Vampires?  Pirate….I am compelled to touch the souls of those I meet and I can’t do that with a Vampire.

6. Are you an easily satisfied person or you do you keep working to obtain something?  I don’t know what I want for sure…so I am happy with what I got. I am blessed being like this. 🙂

7. Sweet or savory?  Savory…I like my food the way I like my life! I want the meat and gravy of the meal and the sweets are only to uplift from time to time.

8. Do you believe in Karma?  I think bad happens for a reason…so figure there is no need for a payback force to punish the person involved in teaching a life lesson.

9. What’s your favorite comedy film? The Hangover series. Gotta love the wolf pack!

10. Fantasy or sci-fi? Both….but if I have to pick one it would be Sci-fi because of my love of Star Wars.

Now my nominations……

  1.     http://amuseless.wordpress.com/  is not only highly talented they also were one of my first finds that followed me. For that they deserve my nomination!
  2.     http://khmazzola124.wordpress.com/  Her writing ability is one I aspire to have…plus she is so kind as to take time to read what I have to offer.
  3.     http://soulmindheart.wordpress.com  Her poetry is divine it has a way of grabbing a heart and slapping it around to make sure it is beating. Yes, I am a fan. 🙂
  4.     http://thoughtsofalunatic.com/ I know she gets many of these types of awards and despite knowing she will have to decline but be honored I am offering it anyway. I am in awe of any   person who puts herself out there in order to find who she is. In my opinion, it is a beautiful light.
  5.     http://shoe1000.wordpress.com  He has also honored me with an award (which I will find time to complete very soon) But this is not a nomination based on tit for tat…He is deserving because he is what bloggers need most…he is a reader. While he offers comfort with his own blog he also reaches out to others and actually reads what is wrote. We all know we have followers who like what we offer without really and absorbing the words we wrote. Those pretend to be kind by leaving a like behind…he leaves truly appreciating what you offered. To me…that is worth more that any large number of likes from those other types of folks. 🙂
  6. http://darkyblue.wordpress.com/  Is another blogger that I am going to nominate, understanding though very honored, she will decline. However, I want to use this opportunity to show my appreciation for blog and the story that it tells. I love woman who are on a journey to discover their own voice they were denied.
  7. http://banphrionsa01.wordpress.com/ I love this bloggers flights of a fantasy.
  8.  http://totalovrdose.wordpress.com/Gotta love a blog that has posts that need a disclaimer that the following may have some content violent and sexual in nature. lol Besides his likes of my offerings on a regular basis are not overlooked my me. 🙂 Thanks for that.
  9. http://iampandaexpress.wordpress.com This nomination may piss off this Twitter Vixen. But I don’t mind I want to everyone I find her writing sublime in cone with a cherry on top. Hug to you from me my friend!
  10. http://djhardesty.wordpress.com/ Last, but by no means least, I present a very talented writer. Her words are never about the surface they are much deeper than that. I appreciate every offering I see she has put out and love every minute of it.

I have done as I have been instructed and found it a nice way to show my appreciation for those 10 Blogs I have listed. Now, please don’t worry if you can’t accept but feel honored. I don’t want to ask you to do anything that would take you away from the wonderful writing that should be appreciated by all. Best wishes and all my love.

Billie ♥liebsterblogaward1 (1)

A Mother’s Dream

my dream finally came true

true tale i tell to you tonight

tonight my baby feared lost

lost to me forever was found

found my reason for living again

again there is hope

hope to start over

over the past

past the hurt

hurt that was caused by me

me, myself, and i

i can breathe easy

easy my breaths

breaths given to me anew by GOD

GOD, aware of my heart’s torment

torment of my own making

making me cry each night

night after night he listened

listened to my pain

pain he had mercy

mercy is what he gave

gave by a power held only by THE MOST HIGH

THE MOST HIGH made my dream finally come true

true tale i tell to you tonight

tonight my baby feared lost

lost to me forever was found

found my reason for living again

again there is hope

 

Torment To Content

I don’t know how to feel content.

Why does this ability escape me?

What if content, I was never meant?

 

I feel at ease with torment.

I fed on its teat as a baby.

I don’t know how to feel content.

 

Out of duty, I pay torment’s rent

I know holding on to feeling bad is crazy.

What if content, I was never meant?

 

To torment, I want to revoke my consent.

If I had something to feel instead I could act bravely.

I don’t know how to feel content.

 

I hate the bond between torment and me is cement!

With shame I admit, to something so vile, I am still clingy.

What if content, I was never meant?

 

Escape from torment I am hell-bent!

The risk of feeling nothing instead…I still agree.

I don’t know how to feel content.

What if content I was never meant?