Interview: Billie Zahir

Melissa Holden, Author

Here is an interview with Billie Zahir: writer, blogger and Twitter-friend of mine.

As a blogger, are you finding it hard to post every week?

Honestly, I don’t consider myself a blogger despite starting a blog on WordPress last year. I hoped, by creating it, I would be able to have discussions with others about the subject matter of the poems I wrote and posted. It did not take me long to discover, through observing other blogs and discussions with bloggers, discussions are not something which comes easy.

There is a whole technical skill set which has to be learned to create a blog so readers can find and follow your blog. For a while I tried to learn how. I got hung up on the whole concept if Branding myself as writer.

Eventually, I lost my drive and walked away to regain my focus. When I took the time to…

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My HipHop/Rap Alter Ego Is White Venom

Recently, I have developed a new obsession. My obsession is HipHop/Rap. I spend hours on YouTube listening to whatever I come across or is suggested. I eat it all up. Including the comments section reading how others respond and how they act. I have come to learn so much! I impress myself by using the lingo unique to this genre and subculture at times.

It is an odd obsession to develop considering I’m almost 40, a woman, raised in a small town, and never cared for it much growing up. My obsession originally started because I made a few new friends who were HipHop/Rap enthusiasts. They appreciated my opinions on lyrics presented. I feel cooler now than I felt my entire life.

Not to brag, but a little verse I wrote and performed is going to be used as a drop on a friend’s soon to be released mixtape. I am sorry, I pride myself on being real so have to admit telling you the above was all brag. I am very proud of that accomplishment. Another great pride of mine, after using Google, is being told I’m trill.

Please don’t think my recent obsession has created any radical changes in me. People on YouTube, who don’t know me, make fun of my long detailed critiques I comment. I still dress age appropriate and have no desire to emerge my whole identity into the subculture. However, I can’t deny allure of it all.

I want to write more about my recent obsession in the future. I hope my posts are well received by all, regardless of their background. I believe some of my observations of the subculture’s underground and mainstream will be found more interesting than you expect.

In conclusion, going to include my own attempts at writing verse. Not the best, I am well aware. Perfection was not my goal when writing. Rather, my goal was to never say I did not give it a shot….probably why I’m trill when so many others are not.

“Mama’s Math”

All men rate me a perfect ten
Shit! What a pain this has been
Had to do some Facebook weeding
Nixing 5 what I was needing
I try to be a classy woman
But never forget I got venom
I’ll do what I gotta to thrive
Seconds given to mourn was 5
I never fear having nothing left
Forcing me to commit a theft
My hair is as dark as a raven
My darkness assures breaking even
You asking how I dare
I’ll indulge you and share
Let mama give you a lesson bath
Using the soap called math
5 plus 5 is always me
Not gonna settle for a common he
So don’t try knocking on my door
Thinking I’ll greet ya like a whore
Bitch who you think you be?
You will never be worthy of me
I’ll only be wifed by a real man
Try to be one if you can
I gleefully await that day
Till then fucking go away
Cause I don’t need a hero
Damn! 5 minus 5 is you a zero

“Zombie Apocalypse”

Too many voices saying nothing worth hearing/my ears are bleeding/I need to hear something smart/something from a heart/don’t know why y’all worried about a zombie apocalypse/zombies are fucking everywhere/I’m not afraid to admit I’m scared as hell/somebody please ring the bell/we gotta take action/put are forces in motion/raise your voices to work/this is not the time to lurk/come out of hiding/use your pens for fighting/zombies are afraid of light/shine your brilliance with all your might/let’s back them into the corners of society/it’s time for the mentally strong to quit speaking politely/let’s unleash an atomic shout/so brainless zombies get the fuck out

The End For Now….White Venom Is Out

The Return of the Eye

Not going to post too much at this point. Just wanted to let any of you who still remember me know I’m going to be back writing soon. By soon, I mean tomorrow morning. I enjoyed my Blog but had to take a little break to take in the world around me to write again. My brief time away has changed my writing a little. If that change is for good or bad….is up to you. I write for me while hoping my need of expressing myself will somehow connect with others.

Till tomorrow morning , or earlier, my fellow earthly beams of glory!

Since, I feel more whole since taking my hiatus it’s fitting to come back and show you more of who I am on the outside as I plan on showing you more of who I am on the inside with my writing later.

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Image

Reality

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

Boys girls playing in the park

Fun had for no cost

Going home before gets dark

Soon off to bed flossed

 

Boys girls told it’s time debark

Into the world tossed

Soon know park was a hallmark

Feel sad childhood lost

 

_________________________________________________________

Want to share another 7/5 Trochee Poem from a fellow very talented blogger.

Billie ♥

http://wrestling-life.com/2013/05/09/75-trochee-loves-hues/

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Right To Write

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

Won gunfight…My life I indite
Pissed poisoned pen poised for payback
Heroes and Villains I’ll incite
Won gunfight…My life I indite
With delight good/bad I handwrite
When on bookrack I will kickback
Won gunfight…My life I indite
Pissed poisoned pen poised for payback

 

 

 

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Emotion’s Roost (Line Messaging)

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

A life is judged by a person’s actions

and guided by notions.

However, don’t forget, ugly emotions.

No matter how good the intentions, emotions efface.

Causing a  possible fall from grace.

The mission of a person is to find a special place.

A place emotions can feel at ease roosting

where their existence does not have to be proven with shouting

This place, where they can glimmer, can be found only  in writing.

 

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Red

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

“Be back in just a minute” is what he said.

These words bounce all over in my head.

The bitch clock taunts, “Tic toc, tic toc.”

I stay strong; tears unshed.

Rage festers instead.

Tic toc, tic toc.

In the past,

bled; now

RED

 

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My Soul

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

Sly Satan summoned the serpent Sorrow

seeking to slither and scourge my simple soul

I became a solo shallow shadow

Sly Satan summoned the serpent Sorrow

sought salvation from wings of a sparrow

lifting me in secret from Shoal’s slimy sinkhole

Sly Satan summoned the serpent Sorrow

seeking to slither and scourge my simple soul

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Buttons and Bows (Diamante)

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

Bows

Pretty, Plenty

Primping, Swaying, Matching

Colorful, Girly, Useful, Concealing

Fastening, Frustrating, Popping

Needed, Replaced

Buttons

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You Are Missed (Monody)

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

He was the toughest SOB that I ever knew.

Every time, before, death knocked on his door,

he knocked the Grim Reaper on the floor.

Sadly, this time, the hooded one was the victor.

This was the man who lived through a blazing inferno,

being in the line of fire during the Korean War,

and fell from an iron tower.

Yet, as tough as he was, with me he was always tender.

I never, called him Dad…yet he was the best Dad I ever had.

When the time came for him to go cause the pain was too much I cried.

But, just like he did, I did what I had to and told them to turn off the machines.

I feel no guilt for being the one gifted with the right to end his pain.

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Mr. Diamond (Clerihew)

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

Neil Diamond, singer and writer of songs.

Woman come to see him in large throngs

He often wonders at what age

woman will stop throwing panties on stage.

(Ok, this was written for making me giggle.)

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Anger With Red Hair (Nonet)

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

Gave my anger a chid’s persona

Red curly hair uncombed untamed

His clothes worn out with rough play

Scabs on elbows and knees

Has no time to heal

Seems nobody cares

enough to

give a

hug.

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Lost Mind (Triolet)

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

My wonderful mind always roaming forever lost

Search parties stay at home…don’t wanna be found

My mind will avoid being caged at any cost

My wonderful mind always roaming forever lost

More than anything my mind hates being bossed

Proud of my mind’s refusal to be bound

My wonderful mind always roaming forever lost

Search parties stay at home…don’t wanna be found

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Forever A Clown

Billie A. Zahir aka "The Eye"

I was a joke, when I was young.

Laughter, so loud, at my expense stung.

The sound bending me over in agony.

Hunkered down, took a journey.

Mind went afar hoping laughter done when awoke.

Older now, sadly naught changed since I was a joke.

Think I would learn, to deal with pain.

Joy, with role as clown, I could feign.

This one ability, could save me my face.

Instead, tears engage in a race.

No matter what I do, I follow the same pattern.

I am a clown to all around…think I would learn.

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The Liebster Award

I have never made it a secret that I am totally new at the business of having a blog. When I started, my only wish was putting my efforts of writing in an arena which they had a chance to be seen. It has been a little bit over a month since I started and, even though my stats are not as impressive as some of those I have seen, I am pleased with the steady growth I have achieved. Even more than the steady growth, I am so pleased with the quality of people I have come across that have offered encouragement in my writing efforts and stir my soul from the blogs they themselves have established. I regret not starting my blogging earlier for these reasons.

One of the things that I have been confused about during this time is this whole award business. From what I can tell the process is just a way of promoting blogs including your own. After a few nominations and a lot of thought, I have decided to give the process a shot. Why not? All it will do is cost me some time. However, that time is well spent if I can recognize a few blogs that I have come to enjoy in hopes others in this chain discover them and think see there worth like I do.

Here I go….

I was nominated for the Liebster Award by a fellow blogger named Steve the blog he calls home is http://imagineerebooks.wordpress.com I do not lie when I say the nomination is an honor. Like all every other person in the world, it touches my heart to be thought of as a person deserving of an award of any kind.

Here are the rules that were given to me to follow and those that I bestow the honor to will have to follow these rules as well.

1. Answer the 10 random questions or those of your own choosing.
2. Nominate 10 other bloggers for the Award and link their blog sites.
3. Notify the bloggers of their award.
4. Ask the award winners to answer the 10 questions when they accept their Award.

First, I will answer the questions provided…..

1. Do you have a goal in life?  I will live long enough to be a grumpy old woman who speaks her mind. People will get offended. People will hate what I have to say. However, most of them will love me despite my lack of social filter. (I’m almost there by the way…so watch out)

2. City or countryside? Depends on my mood…but I know from experience that it does not matter either one can be a lonely place if your are lonely in your heart.

3. What was the last word you looked up in the dictionary?  Bilharzial…it was a silly thing I do from time to time looking for writing prompts. I put a word or words in a Scrabble Assist app and see what words come out…in this case it was my full name and the result was this disgusting “Snail Fever” a parasitic disease. Needless to say…I did not use the prompt and would rather put the whole experience behind me. :/

4. If you had a time machine where would you go?  January 15, 1993…the reason I will keep close to my heart.

5. Pirate or Vampires?  Pirate….I am compelled to touch the souls of those I meet and I can’t do that with a Vampire.

6. Are you an easily satisfied person or you do you keep working to obtain something?  I don’t know what I want for sure…so I am happy with what I got. I am blessed being like this. 🙂

7. Sweet or savory?  Savory…I like my food the way I like my life! I want the meat and gravy of the meal and the sweets are only to uplift from time to time.

8. Do you believe in Karma?  I think bad happens for a reason…so figure there is no need for a payback force to punish the person involved in teaching a life lesson.

9. What’s your favorite comedy film? The Hangover series. Gotta love the wolf pack!

10. Fantasy or sci-fi? Both….but if I have to pick one it would be Sci-fi because of my love of Star Wars.

Now my nominations……

  1.     http://amuseless.wordpress.com/  is not only highly talented they also were one of my first finds that followed me. For that they deserve my nomination!
  2.     http://khmazzola124.wordpress.com/  Her writing ability is one I aspire to have…plus she is so kind as to take time to read what I have to offer.
  3.     http://soulmindheart.wordpress.com  Her poetry is divine it has a way of grabbing a heart and slapping it around to make sure it is beating. Yes, I am a fan. 🙂
  4.     http://thoughtsofalunatic.com/ I know she gets many of these types of awards and despite knowing she will have to decline but be honored I am offering it anyway. I am in awe of any   person who puts herself out there in order to find who she is. In my opinion, it is a beautiful light.
  5.     http://shoe1000.wordpress.com  He has also honored me with an award (which I will find time to complete very soon) But this is not a nomination based on tit for tat…He is deserving because he is what bloggers need most…he is a reader. While he offers comfort with his own blog he also reaches out to others and actually reads what is wrote. We all know we have followers who like what we offer without really and absorbing the words we wrote. Those pretend to be kind by leaving a like behind…he leaves truly appreciating what you offered. To me…that is worth more that any large number of likes from those other types of folks. 🙂
  6. http://darkyblue.wordpress.com/  Is another blogger that I am going to nominate, understanding though very honored, she will decline. However, I want to use this opportunity to show my appreciation for blog and the story that it tells. I love woman who are on a journey to discover their own voice they were denied.
  7. http://banphrionsa01.wordpress.com/ I love this bloggers flights of a fantasy.
  8.  http://totalovrdose.wordpress.com/Gotta love a blog that has posts that need a disclaimer that the following may have some content violent and sexual in nature. lol Besides his likes of my offerings on a regular basis are not overlooked my me. 🙂 Thanks for that.
  9. http://iampandaexpress.wordpress.com This nomination may piss off this Twitter Vixen. But I don’t mind I want to everyone I find her writing sublime in cone with a cherry on top. Hug to you from me my friend!
  10. http://djhardesty.wordpress.com/ Last, but by no means least, I present a very talented writer. Her words are never about the surface they are much deeper than that. I appreciate every offering I see she has put out and love every minute of it.

I have done as I have been instructed and found it a nice way to show my appreciation for those 10 Blogs I have listed. Now, please don’t worry if you can’t accept but feel honored. I don’t want to ask you to do anything that would take you away from the wonderful writing that should be appreciated by all. Best wishes and all my love.

Billie ♥liebsterblogaward1 (1)

My Soul

Sly Satan summoned the serpent Sorrow

seeking to slither and scourge my simple soul

I became a solo shallow shadow

Sly Satan summoned the serpent Sorrow

sought salvation from wings of a sparrow

lifting me in secret from Shoal’s slimy sinkhole

Sly Satan summoned the serpent Sorrow

seeking to slither and scourge my simple soul