Defection to Happy (Sestina)

I am visiting this new land called Happy

I don’t know how to act.

All my life I have lived in Despair.

I never liked living there, because it is very glum.

However, my feeling of this new land of Happy is fright.

But, I will travel on despite.

I never felt the joy that forms a smile I attempt one despite.

What makes all the people feel cheery in Happy?

Do they know what it feels like to feel fright?

Could all this bliss be an act?

Does the monotony of content make the natives glum?

I can’t help it I feel home sick for Despair.

Is it my emotional predisposition for misery, which destined me for Despair?

Could I learn to be a Happizite despite

my life long teachings of how to be glum?

I admit I have a fascination with this land of Happy.

Perhaps things would be alright if pleased I could act

and keep hidden, from those all around, my fright.

How does a person mask fright?

When they lived their whole life in Despair?

Is delighted still a wonderful feeling if it is an act?

Can the act ever become fact despite

being a foreigner to Happy?

Or am I forever doomed, no matter the effort, to be glum?

I don’t want to be glum.

I don’t want to feel fright.

I want to live forever in Happy.

I want to defect from Despair.

No matter I was born a Despairian, I want to be a Happizite despite.

I want to feel glee for real and not have it be only an act.

I have decided, I will drop my act and no longer feel glum.

I will do this despite my feelings of horrible fright.

I herby revoke my citizenship to Despair, and pledge my allegiance to Happy!

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Defection to Happy (Sestina)

  1. I really wish it was that easy to simply make the transition from the world one lives in to a happier plain of existence within their mind. I agree with much that is expressed in this post and I additionally understand the notion of wearing a mask and/or pretending to be happy to prevent others from seeing the truth that exists beneath the happiness one attempts to show. Very interesting and well thought out.

    • You always leave comments that are so thoughtful. They show that you actually take the time to read and digest the words I write. I can not tell you how much that means to me.

      As far as this post goes…I knew how it ended was a cop out. It was done on purpose. I wanted to show that a person who is depressed really wants to stop and, like you said, that is a lot easier said than done. But the wish for it to happen just because you wish it….well that is moving in a sad way. That was the sadness I wanted to showcase.

      I wrote this when I had every reason to be happy…but just could not do it. No matter how much I willed it.

      Again, thank you for taking the time to take in my words. 🙂

Now it is your turn to speak...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s